I don't know how else to describe it. I'm just not feeling it today - or this whole week if truth be told. I had a 10 mile race today and I just didn't feel like it. It was all I could do to get out of bed at o'dark thirty, drive an hour and then wait around for the race to start. I swear I almost just left. I was THAT down on the whole thing. But I did it anyway. I've never DNS'd, never even DNF'd but I thought about it today - through most of the race. Once I got to around 6 miles I thought well.. over half way there, might as well finish it. But my heart wasn't in it. I could have easily gone faster, but I didn't. I just didn't care today. I didn't check my watch, I didn't push my pace. I just relaxed and stayed loose. I finished the last mile strong - at about the pace I should have been going around mile 7 - and passed a few people, but I purposedly didn't pass the girl who'd been pacing me for the last 4 or 5 miles. She'd kept a steady pace while I'd walked some of the hills, surged down some of the easy parts.... it didn't seem fair to pass her at the end even though I could have. I just didn't want it as much. So now my muscles are wondering - did we run today? My head is wondering - what is your problem? My stomach is wondering - are we going to eat some ice cream or something to make ourselves feel better?
So next week is an easy week. Maybe I'll get my mojo back. Maybe I'll be able to relax and enjoy life for a few days. At any rate, the olympics are on so at least there will be some fine inspiration coming my way.