Ha ha ha

Raspberries to you mother nature! I got my run in this morning when it was "nice" out. Let me define nice for all you folks living in warm climates like Florida or sunny California... it was 35 degrees, gray, and spitting rain, but only a little and the wind wasn't blowing much.

Now let me remind you, it's the end of March. And as I look out my window in the dark, what do I see? Snow! That's right, I said SNOW. Not pretty little flakes that hit the ground and melt, but actual, accumulating snow - 3-6 inches of the stuff.

So there! I got my workout in before it snowed. And tomorrow is a day off... so I'm crossing my fingers and my toes for it to all go away by Saturday when I have to do a HARD run. Yes, that's supposed to be in capital letters, cause that's the way the coach wrote it... followed by moderate (NOT easy) intervals... so that at the end I am ready to puke. Doesn't that sound like fun? Sure hope it's not snowing by then.

Thoughts from the road

Why is it that every way I go, it's always up hill? And why does a perfectly sunny day turn into snow five minutes after you get out the door? How do stones the size of marbles get into your shoes when you run? And why is it that those same marbles turn into grains of sand when you take them out of your shooes? Have you ever tried to take your shoe off while standing on one foot in the snow after running 2 hours? Without falling over? Or had a gel explode in your pocket then stick your hand into said pocket for said gel? Does the sticky ever come off?

Well, at least it was warm enough so the gatorade didn't freeze. I held the pace I was supposed to and shuffled home around the lake. BY the way, it's 13.92 miles... which was farther than I thought and just the right distance all at the same time.... And the hills... well they started at just the right time... right as I was supposed to start my pace. whew.... I'm beat! And stanky!

Just one thing

Today is rest day and it's March madness so I have just one thing to say today...


GO STATE!!!!!

Run through the finish with your hair on fire

Awesome run today! I mean, it didn't feel great, but the time was great! I pushed myself to maintain race pace for 4 miles after about a mile and a half warm up. It was cold and windy (of course!) and hilly (also of course). The first mile or so was no big deal, maybe even the first 2 miles, but then I started to feel it in my lungs, heart beating... I kept telling myself to concentrate on how my legs felt, the turn over pace, this is what race pace should feel like in my legs and if I can keep this pace for this training run, then I will be able to keep it for the 10k coming up. I can do this. I let my legs carry me and I focused my mind on maintaining - on going through the finish!

And I did. Race pace is 9:05. I ran those 4 miles in 8:55 pace. Woo hoo! I CAN do it!

I am glad I'm a runner

Today, I am glad I am a runner. I am glad I have the ability to put on my shoes, put one foot in front of the other, step outside into the fresh morning air and leave my troubles behind. I am glad that no matter what happens with work or friends or family, I can run. I can find a place where I just am. Where I don't have to BE anything to anyone. I can ruminate over things and solve problems or I can set them all down on the curb for a few minutes or a few miles and just BE. I can always pick those problems up when I get back.

And with that thought, I didn't try to outrun anything today even though there was plenty in my head to try to get away from. I decided to run the run the coach had planned for me. Don't push it. Keep it easy, zone 1 and 2. Just run. So I did. I ran 4.8 miles in 9:59 pace. I ran up and down hills, I ran in the wind... and I never felt like I was pushing my limits. I was just being. Just there. Just experiencing the world around me and the feel of my body, the strength, the calm, the determination.

Today, I am.

I placed

Coach always says you can't win all of your workouts. As a matter of fact, if you do, you probably aren't pushing yourself hard enough. There is probably more in the tank... Or when it comes time to race, you'll be toast... or worse, injured.

Well, yesterday completed kicked my butt. But today, I didn't win, but I placed. I think I came in about third. Just felt good on a nice easy zone 1-2 workout. Didn't hurt myself, stayed in my zone and went faster than I used to in what was probably zone 3. There might, just might, be something to this heart rate zone stuff...

AND I survived a whole day without sugar yesterday. Plan on doing the same today. Rock on!

Random Thoughts

I'm in crisis mode today. I just sent a note to my coach asking why I shouldn't be eating sugar? I know why, but I'm hoping if she yells at me or something it will sink in...

How can I go from wanting to run an ultra one day to wanting to quit running 10 hours later? Literally? What's up with that? I can't blame it on the treadmill cause I chose to run on it today.. Not its fault. I could have gone outside, but there was a small problem with my stomach thinking it didn't really want to keep anything in residence for long so I thought perhaps staying close to home was best.

Oh, and do you all know how long it takes to turn gatorade into slush at 10 degrees? How long it takes until MOVING water freezes enough so it will no longer come out of a squeeze bottle? How much fun it is to run with said water and gatorade bottles as pretty frozen decorations while it is 10 degrees rather than having anything to drink for over an hour? (that was my Saturday run - the one I was dreading... all in all it turned out to be pretty successful)

For some reason, today the weight of the world is sitting squarely on my shoulders, chest, head... I don't really know why.... Tomorrow will be better.

Nerves

Today is rest day and I'm thankful. All I can think about though is tomorrow. Why do I worry so much about running at race pace? I get all nervous before hand about these runs like they were actual races. Kind of silly. Tomorrow's run is 60 minutes easy then 45 minutes descending race pace - meaning one mile around 9:30, next mile around 9:20, then 9:10, then 9:00, then 8:50 - then shuffle home for the last 20 minutes or so. Hopefully it won't snow tonight and the roads will be clear and not icy. I have a route picked out that I think will fit my needs... and I've hmmm... got to check to see if I have any running pants clean to wear tomorrow cause it's gonna be cold. BRRR.....

4 miles at race pace

I held it! I held it! Woo hoo! I can't begin to tell you how excited I am about my run today. It was HARD. I didn't want to do it (don't know what my problem is this week!) And I have been dreading, no terrified, of this run since I saw it on my schedule. 15 minute warm up zone 1 - ok, no problem. then 4 miles at race pace (9:05), then cool down. 4 miles? I tried that 2 weeks ago and failed miserably. I was dreading this run. But I got bundled up and went outside. 25 degrees with 15 mph winds, gusting up to 30 mph. I don't care. I'm not doing another pace run on the treadmill. I can't!

I did it! I ran 4.06 miles in 37 minutes - in the wind, on hills. I'm awesome!

Now, I want a cookie and a nap. But I will forgo the cookie because I'm focusing on performance and cookies don't help performance (besides I ate the remainder of those evil bastards last night and there is no more temptation left in the house!) The nap, alas, will have to wait as well since I've got to get some work done, but man, I just had to tell someone. I DID IT!

success!

Yesterday was HARD. I didn't want to run. I didn't want to get out of that easy chair. I just wanted to sleep... to relax... to sit... to BE. But yesterday, I was a GREAT athlete. Yesterday I ran inspite of myself. And according to the coach, good athletes train when they want to. Great athletes train when they don't. It was all mental. And mental is what I really need to work on. Yesterday I took a step in the right direction.

And you know what? About 5 minutes into my run, I was GLAD I was there. It was an easy run, but I got to get into zone 2 for at least 50% of an hour. So I did. And it was great! I was listening to my body... feeling what zone 2 feels like in my lungs, in my legs, in my head. And even though it was an easy run. I ran close to 6 miles in an hour. 10:03 pace - not bad for an easy run.

And then.... I took another step. I ate good food yesterday. I fueled my body instead of that lonely little voice who wanted food to keep her company. I have chocolate chip cookies in the freezer. Homemade. They are awesome! I gave myself permission to have some for my afternoon snack and then I stopped eating them. In the evening (my worst time!) I sat in that stupid easy chair watching tv and thinking about those chocolate chip cookies. But that other step? That was me saying no to temptation and yes to ME! Yes to performance, yes to food as fuel and not friendship. One small step! (By the way, that step lasted for 2 hours! These people who can think about it for only ten minutes are either lying or don't like chocolate or MUCH tougher than I am!)