Radical Steps

I admit. I'm obsessed. And I've finally decided to go to the experts for help. I need it! You see, I want flat abs. I look at my stomach every day - first thing in the morning when I get up and last thing before I go to bed. Am I skinny this morning? Is it flat? Ridiculous? Yes, a bit. But I'm 40 now and it's not getting any easier. It gets harder and harder to maintain weight, let alone lose it. I know my problem isn't my exercise routine. It's not like I sit on the couch all day. I workout 6 days a week. I know it's the way I eat. I know it's in my head, getting my head wrapped around food as fuel not friend.

Now I recognize that I'm not fat by definition. I have muscle. I am within a healthy weight range for my height - barely. But I'd like to be lower within that range. I want those flat abs :) So I took radical steps. I joined weight watchers this week. I thought what the heck. These people have helped LOTS of people lose real weight, change their lifestyle, get on track. Surely they can help me figure it out, get back on track, learn to focus on things other than food.

I signed up and chose the flex plan. This seemed like a good option. You count points, but you can eat anything you want. I've written down my food intake in the past for various nutritionists, the coach, my own piece of mind. I like to record things so this shouldn't be a problem. On Monday, my first day, I ate DOUBLE the amount of allotted points. And that was just a normal day for me, nothing too radical, nothing too out of the ordinary from what or how I normally eat. Hmmm... I might have found the problem right off. By Thursday, I had exceeded my WEEKLY extra points allowance. This takes into consideration the workouts I've done for the week. You see, these get allotted points as well.

Normally, I'd crawl into a hole about now and give up. Sit down with a bunch of chocolate and a bottle of wine. I decided to take a different approach. This is, after all, not a diet. It is a lifestyle change. I decided to carry on. To at least stick it out through these three months. Try not to gain any weight over the upcoming holidays. Try to stick to points - or at least get closer to the daily allotment and see what happens. Adjust my thinking. So that's where I am.

I'm afraid. Afraid of failing. Afraid of getting fat. Afraid of having to change my lifestyle. Afraid that if I don't I will be unhealthy. And there must be some part of me who is afraid of success as well because in the past every time I've gotten on a roll, lost 5 or 7 pounds, I've rewarded myself with food. Dug into a bag of potato chips or a batch of brownies. I have to slowly make these changes, slowly change the course I'm on. Slow is hard for me. Slow means baby steps, not seeing immediate results. But if I don't do this right, I'm afraid I'll have to continue to buy bigger jeans. And that, is NOT acceptable!

300 pushups

Seriously... 300! We did 300 pushups and 110 sit ups today in bootcamp. The instructor just about flipped out when I decided to do a cartwheel after class - then another woman did one too :) Sometimes it's fun to be goofy even at 8 in the morning!

Top 10 Reasons I'm Not a Triathlete

10. After getting up early for running and then bootcamp, getting up even earlier to get to the pool just never seems to happen
9. My goggles are too tight (are those bruises under my eyes)
8. My goggles are too loose (seriously, is there any water left IN the pool?)
7. Transition?????
6. After 45 minutes on the bike, I have bruises on my sit bones.... I don't like bruises on my ass
5. I don't like running when it's 100 degrees outside - haven't you heard that can kill ya?
4. My skin is so dry from the pool that I think I'm starting to shed
3. I like to watch tv
2. No one else will go to work to pay the bills or feed me so I have to choose work over training sometimes
And the #1 reason I'm not ready to be a triathlete today
1. I like to sleep

All of you triathletes out there amaze and astound me! You are both inspirational and crazy! When I get past my "problems" I want to be just like you!

A run in the woods

There's something about almost 60 degrees and sunny in November that brings out the couch potatoes and their un-socialized dogs. You know the ones, the dogs who haven't been on a walk since Bush took office? Yea, those dogs. I will grant you, it was a beautiful day for a run. I decided to take advantage of it by going for a run in the woods. After a nice little warm up to the park, I arrived under attack - attack of the Jack Russell terriers and Irish Setters (and the surprisingly friendly greetings of the German Shepards). There I was jogging along, minding my own business when suddenly there were dogs running at me full throttle. Okay, I'm a dog person, I can handle this. The Jack Russells scratched up my legs as they jumped on me, attempting to bite my heels. The Irish Setter appeared to be a much bigger threat as I was afraid it would knock me over when it hit cause it was going so fast. Luckily there was no impact, but it was also under no apparent control. The owners gave a fleeting apology, "Sorry. We didn't see you." And I waved it off. "That's okay." As I tried to regain my stride after they had finally gotten the dogs under a bit of control.

The thing is, it's not okay. So why did I say that? Why did I let them off the hook? Because, you see, I hate conflict. I avoid it like some people avoid the dentist. Unless I know you very well and am very comfortable with you (i.e., I've seen you naked) or you're a complete stranger who I know I will never see again and am confident that you can't physically hurt me, well, I'm just going to let it all pass. This isn't always the best solution, but it's the one I've used for years. I know in some cases I need to be more assertive, but was this one of them? Was it more appropriate to stop and give these strangers a piece of my mind or at least a suggestion on how to actually maintain a bit of control over their dogs... or perhaps socialize them more... or, I don't know, actually pay attention????

Like I said I'm a dog person and I have a very friendly dog, one who LOVES people so it's not beyond the realm that he'd go say hi to someone, but he wouldn't if I told him not to. And later in the woods I ran into a couple of nice, well behaved German Shepards, under control but curious...no problem. But all these dogs made me jump like a wild boar was after me the first few times I heard a squirrel scurry through the woods. Guess I'm not a country girl anymore.

The challenge is on

One of my facebook friends led me to this... www.hundredpushups.com I think everyone should try it out. It's a six week program to get you up to 100 consecutive pushups.

I'm hoping that will help with the new endeavor I tried this week. On my schedule the coach said, do something new for cross training. I thought about it... bike? not new. swim? not new. elliptical? not new. Stair master? not new and I'd rather pull out my teeth. Ah, got it... rock climbing. I thought I'd go kick some rock climbing butt cause they have this easy looking wall at the gym - and it's free to members. Woo hoo! I thought that would be a great way to spend an hour. Turns out it was a great way to spend a half hour! I made it to the top on the first level. The second level put me to shame. I have scraped knuckles and elbows along with bruises on my knee to prove I was there, but I failed to make it to the top on the second level. I know it can be done because I watched boys and girls of about 10-12 years old doing it... I'm going to conquer that wall! (after that there are still two more levels of difficulty to tackle)

What a good day!

Slept in - 10 hours! It was a REALLY stressful week. Did a nice snappy run this morning.... almost afternoon really ... in preparation for a 10k tomorrow afternoon. The sun was out, the wind was blowing and it was almost 70 degrees. Then after a shower and lunch, I went someplace I've passed a million times over the years, but never stopped. I finally made it to the Cider Mill. This place is amazing! All these years, I've been driving by and here I thought they just sold apples (to be fair, they really did just sell apples and cider the first few years I was driving by on my way to college - at least I think so!) This is a destination! People drive up on Harleys, in Mercedes and Buicks, in big giant camper trailers - and everything else you can imagine. People camp over night here. They stay and sample wine (I couldn't even bring myself to go into the building where the wine tasting was - but rest assured there was a long line waiting to get in). They have lunch or donuts, buy cheese and jams and candies, ride wagons pulled by horses or in a crop-duster airplane or on a "train" pulled by a tractor.... And of course there are tours of the cider mill and plenty of cider and apples to go around. It was packed! And amusing. And one of those places that Dennis would have insisted we stop at more often. It made me smile. (didn't see any Triumphs in the lot, but there were lots of Harleys and Hondas)

Then to top off a really good day, the Spartans won ... and the Wolverines lost (to a MAC team no less). All in all, a pretty good day. Now I'm watching the results of the ironman, glad I'm not running in 108 degree heat, cheering on some of my internet friends from afar. Go Rachel. Go Chris. Go USA!! You are awesome! Inspirational! Amazing!

Thoughts on the run.

I wish I could tell you about all the cool existential things I think about while I'm running. I wish I could say I have all these deep, smart thoughts while I put one foot in front of the other during a workout. The sad fact is running is my time to de-stress, to empty my mind, to let things go. Today was no different. My most profound thought today on my very HARD run (besides I think my legs are going to explode) was damn it, I forgot the body glide.

This is your warning to stop reading...

There is nothing worse than getting a mile or so away from the house and realizing you forgot the body glide. Nothing like the feeling of your thighs rubbing together to remind you to go faster. Does more friction mean thinner thighs in the long run? Or just more painful chafing... I can tell you the unfortunate answer.... it's the chafing. It's all about the chafing.