Did I say I'd be fine? Was that just yesterday? I underestimated.... the guy who said this course was flat was NOT a runner. He drives a car! He averages out the fact that there are the same number of uphills as downhills and says that equals flat! That does NOT equal flat. THAT equals quads, knees and hips. Ohmigod. It's been 8 hours since I dragged my sorry ass back from the race (up and down those short steep hills I wrote about yesterday) and up the stairs into my room to collapse into an ice bath... and it HURTS!
But you know what? That's okay. Because I made it hurt. The reason it hurts is because I tried. I set a goal, I worked my ass off for five months in ice and snow and wind, and I showed up on race day. I believed I could make that goal and I pushed myself through the pain, whimpering as I did it, but I did it nonetheless. I do have to admit that I was laughing a bit to myself at mile 24 where coach had said if you have anything left, give it a little push to the end the last 2.2 miles. HA! You're kidding right? I was into marathon shuffle mode at that point. Walk breaks at every mile marker and SERIOUS whimpering a few hundred yards past that when I started running again.
Now I usually cry when I cross the finish of a marathon, but this is the first time I was crying because I was in so much pain. This is the first time some strange volunteer at the end of the race put there arms around me and asked if I was okay, if I needed to be escorted out of the finish shoot. PAIN.
So, I didn't meet my goal, but it was a rather lofty one for me. I was trying to shave 26:30 off my best time for the marathon. A time I achieved in my first effort, but which had deteriorated significantly in subsequent attempts. I did, however, get a PR... by 11 minutes! And you know what? I have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, feel guilty over, etc.... I left it all out there on the course. There was nothing left. There is still nothing left. I'm not really sure about that long drive to Portland tomorrow. I wonder if they'd let me stay here another night :) It sure is peaceful. At any rate, I'm proud of my accomplishments today. Sure I'm disappointed that I didn't meet my goal, but you know what? There's always next time :) And I've proven to myself that I can run through the pain.
But does it have to hurt so much?
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Friday, May 30, 2008
Oregon
It is SOOO nice to be here, to be on vacation, to be THIS close to the race. I hear it's nicer today than it's been all year. It's lovely. The sun is shining, the ocean is calling, it's a beautiful 55 degrees. It's the first time I've been back to Oregon since I moved from California 4 years ago. It's just as beautiful as I remember. I've learned a lot about Oregon in the 24 hours I've been here. It's windy by the beach - good thing I've been running in the midwest all winter. (We know something about wind!) The marathon is "flat", but that is a bit of a misnomer. I'm so glad I drove the course today so I wouldn't freak out tomorrow. True there aren't any mountains, but there are some short steep little hills in the first four miles - then it's flat until you come back on the out and back - a slow, gradual incline most of the last mile or so. But I know and I've been training on hills so I'll be fine.
Now I know we aren't at altitude because if I walk down 90 short steps, I'm 100 yards from the Pacific ocean where the kite surfers are putting on a show, but seriously... NOT flat. There are mountains here (luckily we won't be running any of those), steep sharp inclines, but they probably don't get past 3 or 400 feet in height. I think of them as mountains when you drive along the road and there are rock slide signs on one side of the road and steep 90 degree cliffs on the other. But then I'm from the midwest so my definition of a mountain is a bit jaded. Let's just call it the coastal range, like they do in California.
You can't get anywhere fast around here because of said mountains and ocean, but that's quite okay with me. I'm on vacation. I stopped at no less than 3 overlooks and took pictures like a damn tourist. I could live here! I swear. At least I think I could. It is just so beautiful. I know, however, that there wouldn't be a lot to "do" - work wise or culturally, but who am I kidding exactly? I'm not exactly the opera going type. The biggest down side would be the distinct lack of shopping malls, but hey, maybe the local stuff would be cool. I don't know. I was too busy looking at the ocean and the birds today to really worry about retail.
I'm looking forward to the race tomorrow. I am confident I can reach my goal. I will have a good time. The weather is going to be perfect. The course will be fun. The people are terribly friendly and seem to be pretty well organized. I can't wait. Looks like it will be another beautiful day in paradise. Now it's off to bed cause breakfast is at 4am!
As Jimmy would say, the weather is here, wish you were beautiful!
Now I know we aren't at altitude because if I walk down 90 short steps, I'm 100 yards from the Pacific ocean where the kite surfers are putting on a show, but seriously... NOT flat. There are mountains here (luckily we won't be running any of those), steep sharp inclines, but they probably don't get past 3 or 400 feet in height. I think of them as mountains when you drive along the road and there are rock slide signs on one side of the road and steep 90 degree cliffs on the other. But then I'm from the midwest so my definition of a mountain is a bit jaded. Let's just call it the coastal range, like they do in California.
You can't get anywhere fast around here because of said mountains and ocean, but that's quite okay with me. I'm on vacation. I stopped at no less than 3 overlooks and took pictures like a damn tourist. I could live here! I swear. At least I think I could. It is just so beautiful. I know, however, that there wouldn't be a lot to "do" - work wise or culturally, but who am I kidding exactly? I'm not exactly the opera going type. The biggest down side would be the distinct lack of shopping malls, but hey, maybe the local stuff would be cool. I don't know. I was too busy looking at the ocean and the birds today to really worry about retail.
I'm looking forward to the race tomorrow. I am confident I can reach my goal. I will have a good time. The weather is going to be perfect. The course will be fun. The people are terribly friendly and seem to be pretty well organized. I can't wait. Looks like it will be another beautiful day in paradise. Now it's off to bed cause breakfast is at 4am!
As Jimmy would say, the weather is here, wish you were beautiful!
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
There's a race on Saturday
Race coming up on Saturday in Oregon so I don't know when I'll find a computer to post again. Hmmm... do they have computers in Oregon? :) I can't wait to just get on the darn plane tomorrow. THEN, then I will feel like I'm on my way and I can relax, nothing left to do, no more lists to make or things to cross off, just get on the plane.
I'm looking forward to the race for lots of reasons. I want to see if I can achieve the goal I have set for myself, the one I've worked so hard for the last few months, the one I've secretly held for years. I want to see how much working with a coach pays off. I know it has already - big time, but this will be the big test.
And then I want to take a break. I'm tired. I'm on the verge of injury. I'm eating really poorly. I'm sleeping poorly. I'm stressed. I need to relax. So I looked at my schedule post-race today - thinking I needed to write it down and take it with me cause I'm going to be on a much needed vacation for an entire week. And you know what it said? Day off, rest and recover, eat right, get plenty of sleep. Cool! EVERY DAY! WHAT? SEVEN DAYS OFF??? That can't possibly be right? What if I want to run? I know I'm going to want to run. I've already packed running clothes for at least a couple of additional runs. Maybe I'll pack a swim suit. Surely that would be okay... a good thing to do during recovery week. I mean, I know I need a break, but a whole week off without running or biking or ANYTHING?
I thought to myself, surely she doesn't mean that. Maybe she thinks I'm going to quit training cause I haven't told her what my next A race is. Then I read her blog. You see, my coach just took a week off herself - almost a whole week of doing nothing prescribed by her new coach. And she mentioned something in an email to me today about relaxing and not stressing out and you know, staying off my feet. But all week? Hmmmm..... I guess there's a reason I pay her. She might know what she's talking about, but I'm going to keep an extra pair of running shorts in my suitcase just in case. I'm going to listen to my body and my heart and mind though. If everyone is in agreement that ice cream or wine and cheese is better than running, I might just listen afterall.
I'm looking forward to the race for lots of reasons. I want to see if I can achieve the goal I have set for myself, the one I've worked so hard for the last few months, the one I've secretly held for years. I want to see how much working with a coach pays off. I know it has already - big time, but this will be the big test.
And then I want to take a break. I'm tired. I'm on the verge of injury. I'm eating really poorly. I'm sleeping poorly. I'm stressed. I need to relax. So I looked at my schedule post-race today - thinking I needed to write it down and take it with me cause I'm going to be on a much needed vacation for an entire week. And you know what it said? Day off, rest and recover, eat right, get plenty of sleep. Cool! EVERY DAY! WHAT? SEVEN DAYS OFF??? That can't possibly be right? What if I want to run? I know I'm going to want to run. I've already packed running clothes for at least a couple of additional runs. Maybe I'll pack a swim suit. Surely that would be okay... a good thing to do during recovery week. I mean, I know I need a break, but a whole week off without running or biking or ANYTHING?
I thought to myself, surely she doesn't mean that. Maybe she thinks I'm going to quit training cause I haven't told her what my next A race is. Then I read her blog. You see, my coach just took a week off herself - almost a whole week of doing nothing prescribed by her new coach. And she mentioned something in an email to me today about relaxing and not stressing out and you know, staying off my feet. But all week? Hmmmm..... I guess there's a reason I pay her. She might know what she's talking about, but I'm going to keep an extra pair of running shorts in my suitcase just in case. I'm going to listen to my body and my heart and mind though. If everyone is in agreement that ice cream or wine and cheese is better than running, I might just listen afterall.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Are we there yet?
Well, I'm in full on taper mode with the marathon coming up in just a few short days. For me, that also means I'm in sabotage mode. Spent the weekend eating potato salad, rhubarb crisp, hamburger... topped it off with chocolate mouse pie and potato chips yesterday. I think I'm officially done eating crap now though cause I FEEL like crap at this point :(
And just because I'm in taper, I can't seem to find enough to do to keep me busy. I find myself wandering around the house aimlessly looking. Looking for what? Cheese? Chocolate? Wine? My running shoes? No, just my mind! Gads! Does anyone know what I did with it? I freaked out a bit ago when one of my friends asked me what hotel I'll be staying at. That's easy, it's right here in my race folder. Hmmm... plane info, rental car info, maps of the Oregon coast.... no hotel information.... finally found it in the second email account I looked in. THAT was fun... zone2!
Not to be outdone by my mind, my body seems to be in sabotage mode as well... that's a new pain in my groin. Kind of tweaky when I walk, but it doesn't hurt when I run so it's not a problem, right? And my knee keeps seizing up for no apparent reason as I sit at my desk and try to fit four days worth of work into two. There might be just a wee bit of extra stress lurking around in my body trying to get out in new and exciting ways.
Hurry up and get here race! I don't know how much longer I can take it! I'm going to explode.
And just because I'm in taper, I can't seem to find enough to do to keep me busy. I find myself wandering around the house aimlessly looking. Looking for what? Cheese? Chocolate? Wine? My running shoes? No, just my mind! Gads! Does anyone know what I did with it? I freaked out a bit ago when one of my friends asked me what hotel I'll be staying at. That's easy, it's right here in my race folder. Hmmm... plane info, rental car info, maps of the Oregon coast.... no hotel information.... finally found it in the second email account I looked in. THAT was fun... zone2!
Not to be outdone by my mind, my body seems to be in sabotage mode as well... that's a new pain in my groin. Kind of tweaky when I walk, but it doesn't hurt when I run so it's not a problem, right? And my knee keeps seizing up for no apparent reason as I sit at my desk and try to fit four days worth of work into two. There might be just a wee bit of extra stress lurking around in my body trying to get out in new and exciting ways.
Hurry up and get here race! I don't know how much longer I can take it! I'm going to explode.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Cupcakes
I know I said I was going to be all good for the last month before the race. Eat healthy, cut out sugar and alcohol. Well, I have cut out the alcohol. No problem. I've been eating healthy for the most part and I've significantly decreased my sugar intake, but come on. A girl can't live on gels alone!
Last night I made cupcakes. These were no ordinary cupcakes. They didn't even have chocolate in them for crying out loud. (I had gotten chocolate for another recipe just in case these sucked cause how good could they be without chocolate!) They were fabulous. Lemon raspberry cupcakes. And they were easy - except of course grating the skin off my knuckles while I was zesting the lemons. Tasty! Bon Appetit, April 2008. I'm sure you can find them on the website someplace. Just one word of warning, when they say to wait 30 minutes while they cool - LISTEN. This recipe they aren't kidding. Not for flavor, but there's hot jam in the middle. And it's DAMN hot when it comes right out of the oven.
Last night I made cupcakes. These were no ordinary cupcakes. They didn't even have chocolate in them for crying out loud. (I had gotten chocolate for another recipe just in case these sucked cause how good could they be without chocolate!) They were fabulous. Lemon raspberry cupcakes. And they were easy - except of course grating the skin off my knuckles while I was zesting the lemons. Tasty! Bon Appetit, April 2008. I'm sure you can find them on the website someplace. Just one word of warning, when they say to wait 30 minutes while they cool - LISTEN. This recipe they aren't kidding. Not for flavor, but there's hot jam in the middle. And it's DAMN hot when it comes right out of the oven.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Yesterday
Time changes all things. Dislike something? Don't worry. It will change. Like something? Don't get too attached. It too will change. This is why the buddhists, the spiritualists, people in the know all tell us to live in the present.
Why is this important?
10 years ago yesterday... I was in a beautiful place with a wonderful man saying yes to the rest of my life. It turned out to be yes for the rest of his life. It turned out to be not nearly long enough. So while I have happy memories, sometimes these memories can turn against me - point out how different the present is, how lonely and sad compared to the past.
I've gotten better. I've made adjustments. I don't dwell on these things any longer. For the most part, these memories are happy and part of who I am, who I was. They are, however, not who I will be. So yesterday was tough, but today was better. Today is the present. Today there is nothing to worry about, nothing to dwell on, nothing to fear. Today there are no problems. Today just is.
Why is this important?
10 years ago yesterday... I was in a beautiful place with a wonderful man saying yes to the rest of my life. It turned out to be yes for the rest of his life. It turned out to be not nearly long enough. So while I have happy memories, sometimes these memories can turn against me - point out how different the present is, how lonely and sad compared to the past.
I've gotten better. I've made adjustments. I don't dwell on these things any longer. For the most part, these memories are happy and part of who I am, who I was. They are, however, not who I will be. So yesterday was tough, but today was better. Today is the present. Today there is nothing to worry about, nothing to dwell on, nothing to fear. Today there are no problems. Today just is.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Going for a run
I'm going for a run today. I'm so glad today is not a bike day. Today is my birthday and while I am getting to know the bike and appreciate it's efforts in keeping me injury free... I'm a runner at heart. So my birthday present to me... I'm going for a run. And I'm glad because I find the need to get out of my head today so after this first meeting of the day, I'm headed out into the crisp, sunny, and yes, windy day to take it all out on the road.
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