Tired

I'm tired today. Tired of the roller coaster I've set myself up on. The constant ups and downs between "the drug" and the defensive posture. I'm tired of shoveling. I'm tired just because.... I took a long walk in the snow this morning (5 degrees and windy!) Went for a swim, did some power yoga, shoveled some nasty drifted snow (into the wind!), went for another walk.... is it any wonder I can't lift my frigging arms?!?!

And you know what? I want someplace to wear my cool boots. Could have worn them yesterday if I'd known what the evening had in store, but no, I was once again unprepared and went out like a slob. I did, however, get some much needed ego boosting at the bar. Who doesn't like to hear someone call them beautiful? And have a nice intelligent conversation with an interesting man? Even if he's not "the one" it's still fun. Not everything has to be so intense or "going someplace". Sometimes, it's nice to just relax. Have a good time. Hmmmm... perhaps I should listen to myself, eh? hahahaha

Kickboxing

This isn't some namby pamby 80's aerobics class. This is in your face, better have gloves on, hitting and kicking mitts and bags, BIG bags... BIG guys holding mitts. This is kick your butt, kick someone else's butt, feel good about yourself, get your aggressions out.... kickboxing. And it was just what I needed today. I needed to hit something really hard. I needed a huge guy holding a mitt to say man, you hit hard, I need to switch arms. I needed an expert boxer to say, wow! great kick, great hitting, you actually pushed me back. I needed all that after two days of dealing with idiots going over the same stupid things at work, two days of setting my expectations higher than reality and being let down because of it, two days of realtors calling about stupid questions that shouldn't even have to be asked. So thank you to kickboxing! I can't move my frigging arms, but it was worth it! And tomorrow I'm getting up early to go to bootcamp! SO there!

Home

As in, I can't wait ... it's been nice to visit with family and relax a bit, eat too much, not exercise, but I want to go home now. I want to move, get some exercise, eat something that doesn't have chocolate or sugar or butter in it. I need vegetables and workout schedules, swim routines and weight lifting, yes, even running. So here's hoping that by tomorrow the roads will be clear, the ice will have melted, the slush will be gone, the wind will have died down and I can go home - workout, take a shower with actual water pressure, and oh yea, go on a date! :) Here's hoping!

In the spirit of trying new things....

I've been inspired once again. Inspired to get my act together, get in shape, go out, get out of the house, MOVE, try new things. So today, I tried something new. Running in snow shoes. One of my friends talked about this the other day and I thought, holy cow, you're a stud! Snow shoe running? Seriously, that's got to be the hardest thing ever! Then because some were available, I was bored, I needed to work off some of those peanut butter balls and cinnamon rolls... I decided to try it myself. Strapped on some brand new snow shoes and trudged up the hill in the deep snow for the warm up (almost fell in the creek - whoops!) The dog stepped on the shoes more than once and down I went - laughing in a pile of snow, covered with dog! Then for good measure I thought well, I've got these things on, let's just try the running. Boy! Tell you what, if you want to raise your heart rate, strap on some snow shoes and start a jog down the driveway. Crap! I was right, that was HARD! I want to do it again!!!

So here's to new friends and trying new things, mixing it up, having fun, and just enjoying life. Merry Christmas

inspiration comes from unexpected places

Back at the pool. I had a wonderful swim today. Followed the workout to the letter... wanted to quit a couple of times, but I was determined to do at least one of my workouts this week. And I did it, suffered a little a couple of times, the thought of Marit in the pool and her monster sets in Masters. I thought if she can tough it out through that, I could certainly get through a few good form hundreds and other simple things. So thanks, Marit, for the inspiration.

Sleep

It's all about sleep. These days I'm only doing about half of what's on my workout schedule. On the positive side, work is a bit slow with all the vacations that everyone generally takes over the holidays so I'm able to catch up on my sleep. This, I've decided, is what I really need. I'm trying one thing at a time and sleep is first, then I think maybe I'll get better at the food stuff again - you know, after the holidays.... and play around with some strength training and such. Hoping around the time the snow melts I'll be excited about running again and ready to train for another marathon :)

Yesterday I quit

It's true. Yesterday I wrote the coach a nice long email and told her I quit. She admonished me later for using that term and she's right. It's really more about re-prioritizing my life, searching for balance.... and to be honest it's not like I'm going to be sitting on the coach getting fat. It's just that I'm not specifically training for anything. I am no longer "being coached" to improve my times, my form.... I no longer have marathon goals. At least not right now.

Right now I'm focusing on sleep, trying not to stress out at work, and maybe, just maybe finding a social life for the first time in YEARS. Still working on that last one. But work has been so stressful for the last 6 months - do I have a job? Will I have a job tomorrow? Blah, blah, blah... and it promises to continue to be stressful, but in a slightly less negative way. There's the promise of something new to do, something perhaps more interesting, a new person to work for, a new team to work with... a promise of something better on the horizon. So I'm re-prioritizing because, frankly, I need a break.

I'm no longer exciting about running - ever. I'm no longer excited about getting faster or going longer. The mere thought of running more than an hour makes me cringe. So I decided to stop fighting that feeling, pushing myself toward something that is no longer a dream of mine. I decided to do something different. What? I don't know, but it will involve strength training, maybe kickboxing, maybe yoga, maybe swimming. It will surely involve some running at some point because I know I won't ever get away from that, but I want the running to be something I look forward to again, not something I dread.

And in other much more entertaining news - at least in my opinion....
I bet not many of you know how long it takes to purge your body of an ENTIRE BOX of metamucil cookies. This week my dog decided to take it upon himself to conduct a little experiment. He at an entire box of these delicious little treats. While results may vary as this was a very small experiment, his results showed it takes about 3 full days and 10-12 poops to rid yourself of the whole box of cookies and remants of foil. How do I know? Well, the evidence is in the poop. You see, apparently after eating 5 packages or so of cookies, you get this uncontrollable urge to eat the rest in a hurry.... such a hurry that you can no longer be bothered with unwrapping them. So the poop comes out foil lined, foil wrapped, shiny. So there you have it - 3 days. There's a reason you should take these things in small doses. There's regular and then there's a bit too regular. You CAN have too much of a good thing!