Tired

I'm tired today. Tired of the roller coaster I've set myself up on. The constant ups and downs between "the drug" and the defensive posture. I'm tired of shoveling. I'm tired just because.... I took a long walk in the snow this morning (5 degrees and windy!) Went for a swim, did some power yoga, shoveled some nasty drifted snow (into the wind!), went for another walk.... is it any wonder I can't lift my frigging arms?!?!

And you know what? I want someplace to wear my cool boots. Could have worn them yesterday if I'd known what the evening had in store, but no, I was once again unprepared and went out like a slob. I did, however, get some much needed ego boosting at the bar. Who doesn't like to hear someone call them beautiful? And have a nice intelligent conversation with an interesting man? Even if he's not "the one" it's still fun. Not everything has to be so intense or "going someplace". Sometimes, it's nice to just relax. Have a good time. Hmmmm... perhaps I should listen to myself, eh? hahahaha

Kickboxing

This isn't some namby pamby 80's aerobics class. This is in your face, better have gloves on, hitting and kicking mitts and bags, BIG bags... BIG guys holding mitts. This is kick your butt, kick someone else's butt, feel good about yourself, get your aggressions out.... kickboxing. And it was just what I needed today. I needed to hit something really hard. I needed a huge guy holding a mitt to say man, you hit hard, I need to switch arms. I needed an expert boxer to say, wow! great kick, great hitting, you actually pushed me back. I needed all that after two days of dealing with idiots going over the same stupid things at work, two days of setting my expectations higher than reality and being let down because of it, two days of realtors calling about stupid questions that shouldn't even have to be asked. So thank you to kickboxing! I can't move my frigging arms, but it was worth it! And tomorrow I'm getting up early to go to bootcamp! SO there!